1 Relationship, A Million Opinions

Pop quiz: if two people are in a relationship, how many people should have an opinion on it?

If you're bad at math, the answer is two. And if you're bad at logic, it's only the two people in the relationship.

Here's the thing: your relationship is no one else's bidnis. (If you're bad at bad English, that's "business.") Sure, people are going to try to tell you it is, but it's definitely not.

My current relationship/situation/thing/not-a-relationship is a secret. I'm not a fan of secret relationships (though my history will scream otherwise), but the other half believes people are going to get hurt if they know.

We've all been there. Someone gets hurt by every relationship, even if you think you're totally safe from it. At least one other person has had a negative opinion on every relationship I've ever been in. Why would third parties get hurt by a relationship that has nothing to do with them? Well, that's a very good question. They shouldn't, but let's look at some scenarios:

• The Ex: the most obvious and certainly most common. It could be anything from general jealousy to feeling like they have a "right" to you. Then, of course, there's the "Bro/Hoe Code"; this stupid, not-a-real-thing code (I smell another entry) that says you can't go for mutual friends after being with them. (See also: Their Ex. Same shit, different side.)
• The Jealous Friend: they have a thing for that person. Yes, a "thing." So, because they can't have them, neither can you. Or, even simpler, dating this person will take away from time you spend with them.
• The Control-Freak Friend: everything is fine the way it is and you're ruining it by seeing this person.
• The Parentals: Why can't you just find a nice Jewish/Catholic/John Mayer-type boy?
• The Pet: pets get hurt by bad relationship scenarios, too, you know.

But here's the thing: we fall for who we fall for and it's no one's business. It's so damn hard to find a mutual connection these days that anyone who tries to stand in the way of it for their own selfish reasons is a straight-up douche. Hurting friends sucks, it really does. I do not condone the hurting of people close to you. However, if these people really are important to you, they should want you to be happy.

I understand that if someone is in a dating situation that I'm not a huge fan of, that's my issue, not theirs. They're doing great; what right do I have to get between that?

Do what makes you happy because opportunities like that are few and far between. I'm not encouraging you to go out and piss people off, but don't shut something good down for someone that wouldn't do that for you.